A Moment in Gravity

20 up

2011-10-03T00:00:00.000+08:00

No posts in September. Just a short one now, with about 10 minutes to go till I turn 20.

Its kind of scary. These 10 minutes are the less 10 minutes I have as a teenager. Age wise, I'll already be an adult (though I'll have to wait another year before that holds true law wise as well).

Change is difficult, but most of the time, it has been for the better. If I were to divide my teenage years, there would be a few categories. Lower secondary, upper sec, college and university. And if I think about it, each of those has, in some way or another, contributed to making me the person I am today.

I became involved with NUS Stage this semester, and the production I'm doing, (Post-Traffic Barrier) has a number of running themes. Memory, time and journeys. These interrelated elements constitute us, and represent things we can never run away from. Some people believe that we should never look back. What's past is past and there's no use thinking about things that have already happened.

In a sense, they are right. But I see things a bit differently. For me, dwelling on the past is bad, but looking back is a good thing. We remember. The experiences, the people. We reflect. They may seem like little pinpricks of little significance. But, they have all in some way shaped us.

And I look forward too. To new things to see, learn and do. I'm lucky. Our parents always tell us that, and tell us to think of those who have not been granted the fortune that we have, to be able to look at the future with optimism. For this I am thankful.

In Postvorta (the other production) the main character says that in Roman mythology, there was Antevorta, the goddess of the future; and there was Postvorta, goddess of the past. Postvorta drew the short straw, he tells us. For me, each is just as important as the other. We look back, and we look forward. The past makes us who we are, the future gives us the chance to go beyond that.

Birthdays. Temporal markers, but also times of reflection, and expectation.

Starry starry night

2011-08-02T02:09:00.001+08:00

It's the end of July. In less than two weeks, semester will officially begin at NUS and with it readings, assignments and everything else that comes with life in university.

But, the end of July also means the end of my second stint with The Star.

I'd previously been there for a short-lived one month period before I left for Australia early last year. I enjoyed myself then, and decided I'd give it another shot over a slightly longer period.

And this time around, I absolutely had a great time again.

Working for a daily isn't easy. The hours are long and unfixed (I've started as early as 5am, ended as late as 11pm, though not in one day thankfully!). There is pressure when you know you need to rush a story in time to make the next day's print. Sometimes you worry if another paper (mainly NST) has "scooped" you for the day. There is frustration when you aren't able to get what you want out of an interviewee. There is disappointment when you don't see your story appear when you thought it would.

But, there is also always satisfaction and pride when your story, which you got yourself and wrote, appears in print.

As a reporter in JB, you have to cover all sorts of events. From fun stuff like dog shows and charity programmes to ministerial visits and state assembly. I've had to go to places which I'd previously never gone, like Pengerang and Mersing. Met politicians from both BN and Pakatan. Talked to bureaucrats, police officers, firemen, lecturers, school principals and normal, everyday people on the street. You get to meet many different people and see many things which you may not otherwise be able to.

But on a personal level, my favourite part of the job are the human interest issues. Yes, the latest political and development news are important, but those are already widely reported. The more interesting stories are the ones concerning ordinary citizens, like why the livelihood of fishermen is slowly dwindling, how a family is in despair because their young son is seriously sick, or how ordinary people feel that they have been given a raw deal by the establishment. These are things which are usually unseen and unheard, often not in most people's minds.

Yet by bringing up these issues, it gives these people a chance to be heard, to voice out their frustrations and allows the public to see what is happening "on the ground". And I do feel a sense of empowerment, and that this is the best side of the mainstream media - actually getting these stories and these messages across.

It's been a fantastic experience. Nelson, Zaza, Desiree, Farhaan, Lauren, Viga, Abang Rahman and Teo were awesome workmates who really helped me along the way. I've met some great people and had the chance to make new friends in the process.

On the whole, I would say it was definitely a holiday well spent.

Why I support Bersih

2011-07-11T01:25:00.003+08:00

Why do I support Bersih?

Because I support free and fair elections. Because I believe in concepts like democracy and freedom. Because I think that there are certain rights that have to be upheld. Free and fair elections are requisites for any country claiming itself to be a democracy. It shouldn't even be an issue.

The government claims elections in Malaysia are already free and fair. But are they? During elections in Singapore, all parties are allowed to have party political broadcasts. I don't think that is available here. Over the years there have been consistent allegations of "phantom voters" and problems with the electoral roll which have not been satisfactorily put to bed. The mainstream media is still skewered towards the government. Campaign periods are pretty much decided at the whims and fancy off the ruling party. And these are just some of the simple electoral reforms that Bersih were calling for. No one talked about how Pakatan Rakyat won just over 35 percent of the seats in parliament when their vote share was at least 10 percent more than that.

The government claims that the direction of Bersih had been hijacked by desperate opposition politicians, seeking to consolidate their popularity which had appeared to be on the wane. Perhaps, that may be the case. But is that reason enough not to support the cause? Not to me.

Conversely, to me the government has shown an incredible degree of hypocrisy over the matter. They claim to not be against free and fair elections, yet they haven't shown any indication that they are willing even to consider the eight demands made.

They also said that they were agreeable to the gathering being held in a stadium. Yet when Bersih yielded to that, their permit application to hold their rally in Stadium Merdeka was rejected. And then the government decided to lockdown KL. Now, one of the government's major reasons for opposing the march in the first place was that it would adversely affect business in the city, and they still blame Bersih's demonstration for that happening. Yet wouldn't their blocking of the major roads in the city center also kill business? They don't seem to be holding their hands up on that.

The government may think that people are still a flock of sheep. But education, increasing affluence, as well as comfort with social media has meant that things are quite different nowadays. It is not that I do not appreciate what I have today. It is not that I am ungrateful. The government are absolutely right when they say we are a lot better off than we were 50 years now. We have come a long way since independence.

But, if we keep comparing ourselves to countries below us, than we are never going to improve, never going to move forward. Are we ungrateful when we want a more advanced handphone or camera? The same applies here. I am thankful for what we have achieved, but should that stop me, or other young Malaysians from wanting even more and even better. Whatever happened to never resting on one's laurels?

I still believe in democracy, because I think that this system gives citizens a stake in how the country is run. Critics will talk about tyranny of the majority, and that democracies eventually become popularity contests. But, no matter how big one's majority, or how popular an individual or party, that popularity will not last forever.

What is more, being a democracy requires much more than just holding elections every five years, contrary to what a former Information Minister might think. Elections need to be held on as level a playing field as possible. The right to free and fair elections, along with freedom of speech, are examples of those rights. Free and fair elections will not solve all the problems the country faces. But what it will do is make leaders accountable to the public. That is at least a start.

That is why I support Bersih. Not because of my position on the political spectrum. Not because I support any one party over the other. Not because I just think its 'cool'. I support Bersih because I believe in democracy.

As we are liberated...

2011-06-23T01:23:00.001+08:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

~~~
Our deepest fear by Marianne Williamson

Round and round and round

2011-06-20T23:20:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, I feel my life is awesome. Can't get any better.

But other times, I get tired of it. Bored. And I just want something different to break the routine.

And sometimes, I'm just confused about where everything is going.

Wishlist

2011-06-12T23:13:00.000+08:00

I want...

...to watch Liverpool play live (apparently tickets are sold out for the Malaysia match :( )

...to see Coldplay live

...to go places and see the world

...to pass my course well and get a good degree

...a better country

...to be less shy

...to be taller

...to make my folks happy

...to try a Singapore Sling

...to take more pictures

...to listen to more indie music

...to watch 2001: A Space Odyssey (I think I need a films to watch list)

Tiki-taka

2011-05-29T05:12:00.000+08:00

I started watching football after the 1998 world cup. In the past 11 years then, I can honestly and safely say that this Barcelona team are the best club side I've watched. They just outclassed Manchester United. And Messi is a genius.

Message from your blogger

2011-05-14T03:15:00.002+08:00

A number of people have asked me what happened to all the older posts of the blog.

The answer is simple. I deleted them. After allowing the blog to become stagnant, I thought that it would be a good idea to start afresh once again, from scratch. Initially I had wanted to give the blog a thorough and complete refurbishment. That meant changing the background and layout as well. Eventually though, my laziness won through, and I decided to stick with the current layout.

On hindsight though, I think deleting all the posts at one might have been a little rash. There are some posts which I really liked (for one reason or another). I wish I had kept those, if for nothing else than just as fond memories of a period of change in my life.

But what's done is done, and cannot be undone. But it is heartening to know that my blog is being read, and that people have had an interest in, and enjoyed, parts of what I have written.

Coming up next: Thoughts on an election that were none of my business.

Comings and Goings

2011-05-09T19:02:00.003+08:00

PGP is quiet now.

It is no longer the hive of activity which it was during most of the past year. The buzz at the canteen during lunch is no longer as loud; the study rooms are empty nowadays, the tables no longer occupied with students studying copiously for an upcoming exam. There is a lot less comings and goings. There is a lazy feel about the place now as people finish their exams and the semester, and year, slowly petters out.

Its been more than nine months since I arrived (one academic year). My first impressions were of a well-organised, functional place, and the past nine months have not changed that view. PGP is like a little self-contained community. The study rooms and lounges mean that there is more than enough study space for people who don't like to study in their rooms. Food is aplenty with 2 canteens, a cafe and a late night snack place, though one has to look a little harder to discern the good stuff. Finally, there is a minimart with almost everything a student might need. The only thing missing is an ATM, but even then there's one in the science park building behind, just a 5 minute walk away. Every time I walk past the main foyer now, I see big suitcases at the top of the stairs, as people prepare to head home for the 3 month break. I am almost ready to leave myself. Most of my stuff is packed away, just have to come in with the car to get it on Monday (today).

And just like that, my first year in NUS will be over. Its been pretty quick, actually. A year ago, I was still in Sydney, having just gotten word of the scholarship and preparing to go to the USA. It hasn't exactly been a breeze. People often ask me to compare NUS and USyd, and I find it a really tough question to answer. Though I feel that NUS is probably a little bit more competitive (it feels that way anyway), USyd was not lacking in quality either. In terms of lecturers, well, I think it's the same everywhere. It really depends on your luck. Sometimes you get better lecturers who can make boring content interesting, and sometimes you get the opposite, or at other times you get those in the middle. In a single semester you usually get at least one of each category. But I guess when I think about it, NUS may have been more fulfilling. I've been here longer than I was in Sydney, and I've participated in a few more activities.

I've always been quite spoilt and sheltered. Thankfully in PGP, you don't have to worry about things like bills, getting groceries, house repairs etc. Pretty much everything is taken care of. You just eat dinner at one of the canteens if you don't want to cook (or can't). The janitors come to your cluster everyday to make sure the bathrooms and toilets are clean. Light in your room doesn't work? Just report it to the management and someone will be sent to deal with it. In this sense, I haven't really had to step out of my comfort zone, what more with home a one-and-a-half hour bus and train ride away.

I don't believe I'm saying this, but I've grown to like PGP. After a long day, it's almost comforting to know that you don't have to spend another hour fighting with the rush hour crowd to get home. My room was maximum 15 minutes away, and then I could just relax in my room until it was time for dinner. For dinner, I would be able to take my mind off studies by discussing politics or philosophy with Omer, or listening to Wai Yan's many stories.

I'm looking forward to moving to the new University Town. But I'm glad I stayed in PGP for my first year. And as I leave, I have one final lingering thought. Will the Iced Coffee at UTown be as addictive as the one I got back here? =P

Take 2

2011-05-05T10:28:00.003+08:00

I'm back.